God Said Forgive... and I’m Wrestling With It.

There’s this kind of spiritual battle that doesn’t come loud or dramatic. It’s not people gossiping, or life falling apart in big obvious ways. It’s quieter than that. More internal. And for me, it started after I thought the worst had already passed.

I’ve had to face some pretty heavy stuff over the years—being wronged in ways I don’t even like to say out loud. Things like slander, manipulation, spiritual attacks, people trying to tear down my name, or shake my peace. And somehow, through all that, God kept me. I stayed grounded. I forgave—at least I thought I did. I kept going.

But now, here I am, feeling like the real fight has started after the dust settled.

James 1:14-15 hit different lately:

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

That part—"enticed by his own desire"—man, it made me stop. Because sometimes, the enemy stops trying to work around you and starts trying to work through you. It’s like when he can’t break you with outside attacks, he turns inward, starts playing with your thoughts, your emotions, your wounds.

And lately, it’s been this one whisper from God that I haven’t been able to shake:

"Forgive them."

And I’ll be real—everything in me wanted to say “No.” Because what they did was wrong. They were intentional. They were harmful. It wasn’t a misunderstanding. It was spiritual, emotional, and psychological. Some days I feel like I’m still cleaning up the damage.

But God? He keeps gently pushing: “Let it go. Do what I said.”

And here’s where James 1:22 kicks in:

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

That’s the part that gets me. I can know the Word. I can quote the Word. But if I’m not doing it? If I’m not walking it out, especially when it’s hard… am I living it?

So I’m making the choice—even though it’s hard, even though it’s still healing—to forgive. Not for them, but because I want peace. Because I want to live free. Because I don’t want to carry what God already told me to lay down.

Some days, forgiveness feels like release. Other days, it feels like war. But I’m learning that doing the Word, especially in the quiet, internal places… that’s where the healing starts.

If you’ve been wronged and you feel God nudging you to forgive, trust me—I get it. It’s not easy. But there’s freedom on the other side. Don’t stay stuck in what they did. Don’t let the enemy use your own heart against you.

Let go. Not because it didn’t hurt, but because you’re ready to live healed.

Don’t just listen. Do.

That’s how you keep your peace. That’s how you take your power back. That’s how you win—from within.